letter

对不起，我信不过你。

不累

我在意。谢谢你。

?!

我每个字都有意思的，每个标点符号也是。

我的悲哀

A day in history, a day in my life.

*paiseh la lame english, pardon my grammar mistakes*

Life's kinda less stress(not stressless) nowadays, after graduation.
Worked for 2 and a half months, and there goes my time. earned a little bit of money, which I will spend it all even before my plans for further education.

SPM result is out, and TGI ok. For those who couldn't get what they aimed for, you still have a long journey to go. It is not the end, it is just the beginning of another path, maybe a surprising path you never thought of. Wishing everyone good luck and all the best in future.

And guess what? I wanna continue bragging about how great we were, the prom committees.
We had a more than enjoyable night at TGI Fridays.
No regrets going there, its a good place with nice foods. Was worried we'll overbudget, but in the end its ngam ngam hor. Enough to cover everyone, and a little bit more for a couple bottle of beers. (thanks zhensern for the recommendation!)

How awesome were we?

We started this whole prom idea thingy around June or July, but the idea sparked around mid of May(if my memories serve me right). We chui sui at mamaks, continued hallucinating in school.

Out of a sudden, I thought of making it a reality. Why? At first, it's because I wanted to do something big, something to remember, something to be proud of. There's really not much that I can be proud of in the school. So, why not this one? Why not do something everyone is interested in? Well, maybe not everyone, but hell I know I can get a crowd!

Who first to discuss with for this grand project? Who else but my buddies at school. They are real titans, real leaders and true friends. CheeTeck says its do-able, KimTat says achievable, WeiKing says no problem la I can easily get the crowd for you~, WeiChieh and JiaYap says the teh tarik in mamak is quite good!

1st general meeting!(more like messing around). Boys are no good at remembering dates, don't ask me when is it. Its historical, I know. For this, special thank you to KimTat for lending his house for our rendezvous, total crucial part for infant stage of this remarkable event. And also thank you very much auntie for letting us stay, brag, laugh and do all sorts of noise in the house. And warm welcomes, and also opinions, views on everything.

All went off kinda skeptical, even me. I thought we're gonna give up after wasting some time, doing some shit. But no, we hell did not! What made us(or particular me,lol) go so insane and decided to "show hand"? That's where pride kicks in.
We saw, like, a lot of schools doing prom. And they have like, fancy blogs, great sponsors and response, and also good management. I don't like losing, so I thought, we can do the same! Maybe even better!

And then there's the recruitment. My aim? to gather EVERY TITANS in school, and manage them to get the best result I can.
AND THEN! there's the conflict. and disagreement. ChoonYi and Desiree and KaiSern and S2 them started saying prom is impractical, better if we make it a party like makan makan, and hang out.
Thought of it for like, a couple of days, can't take it. Prom is what I want, what the majority wants. Although its far-fetch, we like doing the impossible.

Recruitment is hard too, but still OK compared to others. About all tribes of the school are involved, when I include most of the tribe leaders into the committee. What makes someone more committed than involving them and making them a part of the team?
It sounds like an evil scheme or something, but my motto is for the better. LOL.
Who DOESN'T WANT in in something this big? this memorable?

And so we began. all the chit chat and water blowing. and then the brainstorming and the blog design and restructuring and theme vote and publicity.

Keep in mind, we have trials in one weeks time and SPM in 3 MONTH'S TIME.

designs and everything, we asked for help, then we went back to square one, after that money money money. How much should we charge them? How much are other schools charging? How should we go with the ticket selling? lots and lots of confusion, discussion, confusion then discussion again, after that we made up our mind. Voting seems to be the way for titans.lol. Well, I got back control after 3 weeks of ticket selling. Hehe. The same for hotel picking.

Hmm, what else? well, the hard thing is the selling. How do we promote our stingy chonghwa-ians to come to a luxury prom night at a 5-star hotel? with a not cheap ticket price too. Thanks to everyone doing a great job inviting others to come, and our dear titans non stop publicity with the students. In the few weeks before the end of ticket selling, I even went to every class, one by one and talked to the whole class. IMMA GOOD SALESMAN.lol, let me brag la pls, shoot me in the comment section lo. LOL.

facebook is one of the main tunnel for publicity. And then with our 3l33t skillz we managed to get people to post our flyer to their blog, increasing exposure. But mouth-to-mouth promotion is the best, and that's the reason for the recruitment of tribe leaders. They really make a difference.

And then life goes on. and before we can say "FXCK", the tickets are reaching our expectations. The whole planning seems to be going really OK.
And then, I got a call, to see Puan Linet. She asks, if we(WeiKing with me that time) have anything to tell her. Well, I told her we're having a personal party, and we don't fuck the school. She says, don't put me in deep shit. I say, its the wall of fame, not the longkang of shit.

And guess what, our dear principal at that time, Puan Lau asked me to talk to here during an assembly. She told me I was stupid, insane and reckless. I listen to none, and I was nodding in DISagreement. And hey, she gave us free publicity by going up stage, telling that some students(us, for those slowpokes) are doing some stupid shit that will get girls raped and guys drugged. Warned us not to join. And hell, some don't even know that she's talking about us.
We take it real good as free publicity, but everyone was worried that time, except me. Maybe a little, but not to say we'll fall with a few shit talks.

So we went on with the tickets(kinda nice) and promotion, even before, during and after exams and everything. Matters with the hotels are still good and cool, we managed to settle it nice with affordable price. ZhenSern takes credit for this part. We even secured 2 VIP parking spaces and 1 Day Room at the hotel.

Everyone was hyped when the date is getting nearer. Me? i'm getting nervous and my hands are not trembling la, but a bit sweaty lo. Not because of the huge sum of cash involved, but the crowd that expects a lot from us. And we didn't disappoint them.
Every attendees spent a lot of time and cash for that particular day, looking graceful and high class and *kaching kaching* was out for *bling bling* attires.

Not going to describe that night, if you missed it, too bad! MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

There's more to improve, and we definitely could have done better. but overall, I give us 9.9 on a scale of 1-10. THAT'S FOR BEING BOLD AND BELIEVE IN THE UNBELIEVABLE.



I'm very very very proud of the committee, being so faithful(some) from start til end. We know we can do it, and we stick to the plan. We don't give up.
And we're so good, we have extra $$$ for a reunion dinner for every titans, and it was tonight.
Simply awesome. its at TGI Friday.
No regrets. I thought we'll be doomed as the budget is limited, but in the end, we had a great night with nice food and a whole lot of chit chat.

Although this is not like world class awesome, but I'm so happy that we finished what we aimed for, and we've achieved more than we can think of.
And nope, we don't have anyone getting pregnant after prom, or anyone being kidnapped.
(so don't worry la Puan Linet, we're 18 for god's sake!)

and the credits(cue music):

COMMITTEE LIST
Loh Hong Khai- for being me. LOL.
Koh Chee Teck- for helping out with everything, start til end. Great help, awesome guy.
Ong Kim Tat- for the rendezvous, and the blog.
Chen Wei King- for assuring me that ticket sales will be no problem, and it really was.
Seow Zhen Sern- for telling me to chill, and calm ideas during thunderstorms.
Tan Pinky- for doing your best at ticket sales, and also hotel filter.
Lum Chui Ying- for outstanding ticket sales, and remarkable promoting.
Ts'ng Ming Jian- for giving a helping hand when we need it the most.
Tang Li Wern- for not giving up even after I rejected your designs, and willingness to give.
Tee Chiew Yen- for bright ideas, and good publicity.
Lim Jia Yap- for willingness of publicity, and making some drama out of it. LOL.
Teoh Wei Chieh- for being a prompt secretary.
Ng Chai Wen- for being a great help for sponsors, and supporting all the way.
Wong Tze Ying- for lending your hand and communication skills, and also promotion.
Tieu Kai Sern- for your writings, and aspiration.
Chung Chee Fai- for being a friend, and willing to help out designing even when you're not free.
Chong Tong Yaw- for willing to participate, and be a helping hand.
Siew Yee Ching- for programmes and DJs, and also singers. for bringing life out of the prom.
Lee Choon Yi- for the annoying remarks and discouragements, which I appreciate it.
Tan Hui Yen- for contributing opinions, and also promotion.
Desiree Koh Yean Nie- for brainstorming ideas, and being one of the few first involved.



WE ARE FUCKING AWESOME.




signing off.
LOH HONG KHAI
*WHEN IN DOUBT, JUST DO IT.*
not applicable for sex.

luck

proved myself worthy.

gay

Look inside, look inside your tiny mind
Then look a bit harder
'Cause we're so uninspired, so sick and tired
Of all the hatred you harbor

So you say it's not okay to be gay
Well, I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you, fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very, very much
'Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get, do you get a little kick
Out of being small minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval you're after
Well, that's not how you find it

Do you, do you really enjoy
Living a life that's so hateful?
'Cause there's a hole where your soul should be
You're losing control a bit
And it's really distasteful

Fuck you, fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very, very much
'Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you

You say you think we need to go to war
Well, you're already in one
'Cause it's people like you that need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

Fuck you, fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very, very much
'Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you

无题

他妈的工作地点。
他妈的工作环境。
他妈的工作伙伴。
他妈的工作时间。

他妈的情绪低落。
他妈的无方向感。
他妈的日子来到。
他妈的事情发生。

他妈的无故破财。
他妈的无故失联。
他妈的无故被骂。
他妈的疲惫身子。


这些他妈的日子，看来还有很长一段时间。

我很他妈的讨厌。



他妈的。

闷坏的胸口

我很胆小。
我害怕。

我担心。

但是我逞强。
也不算逞强。
只是我给人的观念，是不可以输。
因为我就是不可以输。

所以我怕输。

惨。

输的日子越来越多。

越来越靠近。

我只有输，所以只会更害怕。

我害怕无助。
我害怕无力。

你知道心悬空的感觉是怎样的吗？
如果真的有这样的感觉，我应该现在是如此吧。
你知道没有动心的感觉是怎样的吗？
如果真的有这样的感觉，我应该现在是如此吧。
你知道没有呼吸的感觉是怎样的吗？
如果真的有这样的感觉，我应该现在是如此吧。
你知道彻底跌入谷底的感觉是怎样的吗？
如果真的有这样的感觉，我应该现在是如此吧。


只有自己知自己事。
没有人知，没有人理会。
因为。我也不知道。


不知道的事情真多。
你为什么要这样呢？
我不知道。

生日。
生日让我尝试失败。
我讨厌失败。
我开始有点越来越不喜欢生日。

我需要依靠。



海岸没有依靠。
海浪很残忍，只有不断给我打击，让我成长。
有时，我要休息。
让人呐喊，呐喊后却忘了我的存在。
我真的只是短暂的存在。



心放空了，寂寞好了。



讨厌自己的无能。

















你在哪里？

越接近了

我会崩溃的。

再来一些不如意事，我真的会崩溃的。

just because you can

因为你有本钱。
因为你花得起。
因为你可以，所以你愿意。
因为我，没有本钱。